Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My [New] Thoughts on Comments

My post about "to blog or not to blog" from yesterday garnered a lot of comments and emails from all of you begging me to stay.  Thank you!  But I have to put it out there that it was definitely not the point of that post.

Don't you hate it when someone says something like, "I'm so fat!" Which of course requires you to demand that they absolutely are not.  I hate that.  Nothing makes me want to compliment a person less than when they are fishing for a compliment.  And maybe that makes me not a nice person because those are probably the people that need the most compliments.  But still.  I hate it when people do that.

That's my way of saying, I wasn't fishing for comments.  I wasn't fishing for praise about how awesome of a blogger I am.  I was sincerely trying to relieve some guilt about deserting this little space on the Internet because the truth is I do know that you're out there.  I know that you're clicking mamanash.com every once in a while and I feel bad to disappoint you when the same post from last week remains at the top.  I felt you deserved an explanation or at least acknowledgement.  That's all.

And in receiving all your emails and comments I realized something.  Comments don't mean as much to me as they used to.  I need to qualify that first by saying that I do so treasure every single comment I receive.  I read every single one and I try to respond to most of them.  I especially love your thought-provoking comments.  Comments that tell me the way you do things.  Comments that give me a new perspective.  I even love comments that disagree with my point-of-view.  (So don't be afraid to share those.)

But I don't ever want you to feel like you owe me a comment.  I've read a lot of posts about how comments are a blogger's paycheck.  I used to believe that.  In the past I think I've even written a few posts myself begging for comments.

I've changed my mind.

Just knowing that, in your busy schedule and of all the billions of websites to go to, you've chosen to visit me.  Wow.  That's so much bigger than watching my comment count go up.

Sometimes I read a book because it challenges me and makes me think.  But sometimes I read a book because it's easy and not at all thought-provoking and I just want some leisure time without having to turn on the critical thinking part of my brain.

I want my blog to be a little bit of both.  I want you to come here with your five minutes and your hot cup of coffee and read what I've written and not feel at all guilty about not having left a comment.  I wish there were simply a button you could click at the end of each post that says "Hey, I read this!"  There's probably already a plug-in for that.  Maybe I'll look for one to install today.

On the other hand, if something I've written does move you, I still hope you'll comment.  But only because you really want to and not because you feel you've betrayed me if you don't.

Blogging almost exactly mimics a good friendship, doesn't it?  Sometimes you want to sit around and gab and gab forever.  And sometimes you're just content to be silent and know that they are still there.

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