Notes from the Land of the Quarantined

Look at this! Me, posting, two days in a row! I figure if I can just start with writing about what's going on in my day-to-day life eventually some meatier posts will strike me.

The real reason I'm sitting in front of the computer at 9 o'clock on a Tuesday in my yoga pants and Brian's white undershirt, with the sun glistening in the SUPER CLEAN porch windows and a steaming cup of coffee in front of me is because we've been quarantined with croup. William comes down with croup a couple of times a year and this, apparently, is one of those times.

If I'm being honest I would tell you that it's been kind of nice to be forced to just stay put. Yesterday I put folded laundry away, made my bed, took a shower, packed a few things for my hospital bag and threw a roast in the slow cooker. That's it. William had intervals of A LOT of television-viewing and napping and Lucy had intervals of the toy room and giving me hilarious one-liners.

When Brian came home I expressed guilt about the tube being on so much but ever the realist he scoffed at that. What else was I supposed to do with a child who could barely lift his head from his pillow to acknowledge my existence? And truthfully, since school started at the beginning of September, our schedule has been so jam-packed this was the most the TV had been on in two full months.

After a night of very little sleep and a lot of labored breathing (why does croup have to be SO scary?!) William popped up from his permanent indent on the couch while we watched The Today Show this morning.  I was scrolling through emails on my phone at the time so I was able to capture the moment.

I'm going to miss those sun-bleached locks this winter.



I think it's safe to say we're on the upswing from illness.  But is there a way to keep the hoarse voice?  Why are hoarse voices so dang cute in little kids?

Of course all this sitting still does have one major drawback.  I had not a single contraction yesterday.  So that is not boding well with progressing labor.  But apparently all I need to do is complete a marathon to kick start things.  Kudos to that woman but also a little peeved that she's making the rest of us (me) look like a bunch of whiny sloths.

Speaking of being slothful, I got a pedicure last night.  I rarely get pedicures outside of the summer months but I figure the least I could do to spruce up my swollen sausages-for-feet was to give them a fresh coat of polish.  It isn't exaggerating to say it was the best pedicure of my life.  I wanted to adopt my pedicurist (word?) as my Asian grandmother.  She took pity on my enormous cankles and gave me an extra long massage.  When she finished with the first leg, the swelling difference was astounding.  So now baby has a pretty set of toes to greet him/her as s/he emerges into the world. Ha!

So that's my exciting life in the past 24 hours.  Tell me, what's going on with you?

Discount Announcement and Other Updates

Remember when I linked to this Etsy shop last week while featuring the baby's room makeover?  Well, I recently received a note from Maya, the shop's owner, letting me know she'd like to extend a discount to all Mama Nash readers.  All you have to do is send her a note mentioning that you're a Mama Nash reader and she'll discount the total of whatever you'd like to purchase.  She also wanted me to remind my readers that all of her work is custom made so if you're looking for modifications or have something particular in mind, don't hesitate to ask!  Even if you don't have a baby or one on the way, I think these pieces make for such a unique baby gift.  Happy shopping!

And now on to the state of things in this ninth month of my pregnancy.

The nesting bug hit me hard this third time around.  Even I got sick of myself.  I did crazy things like clean all 13 windows in our porch including removing every screen and hosing it down.  I've switched all the closets over to our fall/winter clothes which included a major dump at Goodwill and a reorg of our cedar closet in the basement.

As of today I'm feeling good with every item checked off our to-do list except one.  Removing the window a/c units.

Which leads me to my next update.  The weather.  And really, if it were any other year, you'd be seeing a ton of pictures posted here of how the kids and I are enjoying a record-setting Indian Summer that has lasted for more than a week now of temps in the upper 80s.  But instead I'm Grumpy McGrumperson with my swollen feet and hands, my too-small-to-fit summer maternity clothes and my sweaty body.  This was just not at all what I planned for when I pictured myself being nine-months pregnant in October.

I used to think I would be the perfect person to live in Florida or somewhere in the desert.  But I've changed my mind.  I need long sleeves and puffer vests and cute scarves and tall boots and hot baths before bed and snuggling under a blanket on the couch and hot lattes and crisp evenings at a football game and good things baking in my oven.  I still reserve my right to complain in January, mind you, but a few 50-degree days would feel pretty nice right about now.

Today officially marks two weeks until my due date.  It also marks the climax of me being a total basket case.  I didn't get it with William, probably because he was born too early for it to hit, but I did get it with Lucy, who was born three days before her due date.  Full-blown basket case means you would see behavior like me being completely neurotic about not finding William's belt where it should be.  Or having a breakdown because I can't find anything to wear that covers my belly.  Or having energy equivalent to ten manic people.  Or not having the energy to stay awake past nine o'clock.

One minute I want this baby out of my body right now.  The next minute I'm hoping to buy another day or two because it's just not convenient right now.  This part of pregnancy is definitely not my favorite.  But it's also the shortest.  So I'm trying not to complain too much (not a word from you, Brian) and put it all in perspective.  These last few days as a family of four are a blessing.  Soon we will be a family of five and there's no going back after that.

Room Makeover: Baby's Room

I finally got around to taking some new pictures of the baby's room that I think do it more justice than the previous ones I had taken.  Prior to the makeover, this was William's room.  It's the smallest bedroom in our house so, needing just a twin bed and a dresser, it was perfect for him.  The walls used to be a medium shade of green and I actually really liked the color.  But now that we've painted it a dull yellow, I like this color so much better.

This room is at the end of our hallway.  The windows face East and South giving it a plethora of sunlight.  It has quickly become my favorite bedroom in the house.

We spent the most money making over this room--but still only around $350 which includes the dresser, the chair, paint and new blinds.  We bought the small white dresser at Ikea for around $100 and we bought the chair for around $140.  I'm a veteran at this mom thing now so I didn't waste my money on a changing table that will last us two years tops. Instead I just threw a changing mat on top of the dresser.

I knew I needed some sort of a chair in this room for nursing purposes but I didn't want to spend a ton of money on a glider or any other type of chair that couldn't be easily incorporated into another room after my nursing days are over.  This chair from Ikea is SO comfy.  There's just enough rock in it to lull a little one to sleep.  (Hopefully.)  There have been a few trying days lately when Brian comes home from work to find me sitting peacefully in this chair while the kids are downstairs fighting or playing or doing something I'm trying not to pay attention to for just five minutes.

You see that white bench in the background?  We have no idea what's under it!  I tried to peel back a wooden plank but it wouldn't give.

So a bench it remains.  For now I've decided to use it for these baskets (that I already owned) and rolled up a bunch of baby blankets to display.  I'm not sure what it will become later on.  Suggestions?  Previously, William used it for his stuffed animals and then later as a spot to play with his beloved Batman Cave.

One of the tough things about living in a 90-year-old home is that every bedroom has a radiator that takes up wall/floor space.  I actually really love having radiators as opposed to forced air.  I have zero allergies in the winter and we get a lot less dust bunnies flying around.  But having radiators in every room is a challenge when deciding furniture layout.

I wasn't sure where to put the crib in this room but in the end Brian convinced me to put it between the radiator and door (which is closed in this picture).  He reminded me that in the winter this room gets extra cold and it would be nice to have this heat so close to the baby.  And for the safety conscious, don't worry.  The radiator is never too hot to touch.

The crib is a bit cluttered and unfinished at the moment until we find out baby's gender.  I washed my pink and blue Pottery Barn Kids crib bumper and dust ruffle and my mom is all excited to set it up when she comes to watch the kids while I'm in the hospital.

And now for the "ahh, cute" factor.  William is in the middle of a shapes/learning-to-cut-with-scissors unit at school and made this mobile.  I tied a knot at the top of the yarn and hung it from the mobile my sister gifted me with way back when William was a newborn.  Already William loves to stand on the stool and wind it up.

You'll notice that, other than an actual baby, this room is also missing wall decor.  I'm still trying to decide exactly what to do and where to put it all.  I do have a large white picture frame that currently features nine 4x6 newborn pictures of Lucy.  I'll probably use that.  And then I've been secretly admiring Etsy items like this or any of these.  But I'm still undecided.  I welcome other suggestions!

My [New] Thoughts on Comments

My post about "to blog or not to blog" from yesterday garnered a lot of comments and emails from all of you begging me to stay.  Thank you!  But I have to put it out there that it was definitely not the point of that post.

Don't you hate it when someone says something like, "I'm so fat!" Which of course requires you to demand that they absolutely are not.  I hate that.  Nothing makes me want to compliment a person less than when they are fishing for a compliment.  And maybe that makes me not a nice person because those are probably the people that need the most compliments.  But still.  I hate it when people do that.

That's my way of saying, I wasn't fishing for comments.  I wasn't fishing for praise about how awesome of a blogger I am.  I was sincerely trying to relieve some guilt about deserting this little space on the Internet because the truth is I do know that you're out there.  I know that you're clicking mamanash.com every once in a while and I feel bad to disappoint you when the same post from last week remains at the top.  I felt you deserved an explanation or at least acknowledgement.  That's all.

And in receiving all your emails and comments I realized something.  Comments don't mean as much to me as they used to.  I need to qualify that first by saying that I do so treasure every single comment I receive.  I read every single one and I try to respond to most of them.  I especially love your thought-provoking comments.  Comments that tell me the way you do things.  Comments that give me a new perspective.  I even love comments that disagree with my point-of-view.  (So don't be afraid to share those.)

But I don't ever want you to feel like you owe me a comment.  I've read a lot of posts about how comments are a blogger's paycheck.  I used to believe that.  In the past I think I've even written a few posts myself begging for comments.

I've changed my mind.

Just knowing that, in your busy schedule and of all the billions of websites to go to, you've chosen to visit me.  Wow.  That's so much bigger than watching my comment count go up.

Sometimes I read a book because it challenges me and makes me think.  But sometimes I read a book because it's easy and not at all thought-provoking and I just want some leisure time without having to turn on the critical thinking part of my brain.

I want my blog to be a little bit of both.  I want you to come here with your five minutes and your hot cup of coffee and read what I've written and not feel at all guilty about not having left a comment.  I wish there were simply a button you could click at the end of each post that says "Hey, I read this!"  There's probably already a plug-in for that.  Maybe I'll look for one to install today.

On the other hand, if something I've written does move you, I still hope you'll comment.  But only because you really want to and not because you feel you've betrayed me if you don't.

Blogging almost exactly mimics a good friendship, doesn't it?  Sometimes you want to sit around and gab and gab forever.  And sometimes you're just content to be silent and know that they are still there.

For Now

I just looked at my photos of the re-done baby's room and realized none of them is any good.  So I'll get to that makeover later.  But first I need to say some words about the content of my blog. Or lack thereof as the case may be. As they say, it's not you, it's me. Brian told me today that a piece of music he recorded is getting quite a few hits on the Internet. I told him that while his numbers are rising, my blog readership has been reduced to two. One of which is him. They other of which is probably my mom. But I can't even be entirely sure about that.

Last week I wondered aloud if perhaps I was finished as a blogger. Every day when I have a free moment to sit at the computer all I can think about is finishing the laundry or organizing another drawer or sweeping away the crumbs from the floor or eating some lunch in peace or taking a nap. Anything having to do with social media these days is very low on my priority list. I've even been absent on Twitter and Facebook, which requires little, if any, creative talent. And if I can already find "better things" to do with my time now, how will it be to add another body to this household?

The answer is: I'm not sure. Brian screamed "Noooooooo!" when I mentioned closing down my blog so it's out of the question for now. But things may be a bit sporadic around here until I find my groove and get my mojo back. Here's hoping a new baby will inspire me to carve out time for lots of great writing in the months to come.

Baby time is getting close.  Just a few weeks (days?!) away now.  You can still expect the breaking news to be posted here as well as plenty of follow-up posts to relieve my need to brag about having the cutest baby on the block.

In the meantime, I'm still here. And if you're not, well, that's OK too. If I can't make the time to read other blogs, I certainly can't expect any different from you.  Sending out lots of love anyway.  My blog readers, past and present, are the world's best.

Room Makeover: Kids' Room

As promised, here are pictures of our bedroom makeovers. First up, in no particular order, and only because I cleaned it today and all the beds were made, is the kids' room. I wish I were the kind of person who has dramatic before & after pictures but I'm just never that prepared. I hunted high and low through all my photos since we moved into this house and could not find a single photo of what the room, at large, looked like before. So you'll have to settle for a cute old photo of Lucy after her bath. It shows what the paint color used to be when we first moved in.

It was obviously not an ideal color for a boy to live in. Lucy wanted the color to stay pink and William wanted to paint the room green. In the end we settled for...neither. We went with a boring old neutral. But you know what? With the white trim I totally love it.

Ignore the window a/c unit.  It's on our list to be removed this weekend.  And someday I'd love to remove the ceiling fan fixture with something more attractive.

This bedroom is actually quite large. It's only a tad smaller than the master bedroom which is why I chose to move William in with Lucy rather than the other way around.

One of the reasons it feels so large is because the previous owners removed the closet doors. At first this was a hard concept for me to live with, being ultra organized and needing everything in its place. I just didn't like the idea of everything out there in the open. But once I figured out how to use the closet space as an extension of the room, I came to like it. Hanging clothes is kind of a challenge but I try to display Lucy's prettiest dresses and sweaters first so it feels more like room decor rather than just clothes storage.

We recently purchased new furniture for our living room which meant our beloved leather chair needed a new spot.  I totally love it here, just in front of the radiator (cozy) and antique lamp (a find from my great aunt before she moved).  Many a bedtime stories shall be read in this space, I presume.

One of the things on my to-do list in this room is to find bedding for our twin-over-full bunk beds.  It's a challenge with mixed genders.  In the end I've decided to wait until the baby is born.  If it's a girl, she will eventually move in with Lucy and I'll want something a little more frilly.  If it's a boy, he'll be rooming with William and I'll want to utilize the colors in his old Pottery Barn Kids quilt which I was so sad to have to put away in the cedar closet for the time being. 

Because the bunk beds take up a lot of wall space in both height and width, I didn't need too much artwork so I kept it simple.  Here I printed out black and white pictures of William and Lucy together and put them in frames I already had.

On the dresser, I've displayed both of their piggy banks.  William's is a vintage Donald Duck bank that used to be Brian's when he was a boy.  The framed photograph is of William as a newborn just because he was the prettiest newborn ev-ah.  And hanging above the dresser are two keepsakes we received as baby gifts displaying William's and Lucy's birth date, time, length and weight.

And finally, behind the leather chair in the reading nook, is this lovely find from Etsy.  I wanted something Beatrix Potter-ish because I knew it would be gender-neutral.  And once Brian saw the pipe, very un-politically correct, he loved it instantly.  Lucky for us the artist was from the Twin Cities and hand-delivered the print to our home.  I love it immensely.  Click here to see his other work.

Next up is the baby's room!

Rewards & Sticker Charts

When I was in college I took a psychology class on motivation. We were assigned to read Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn. It's all about how grades and incentives have killed America's desire to learn for learning's sake or to succeed for success's sake.

It's an interesting perspective and one I can relate to from an anecdotal point-of-view. I'm a terrible test-taker. But if a class has no tests that means I can listen to an interesting lecturer without scrambling to scribble down notes in hopes of memorizing the right material for the test. It means I can clear my brain to really absorb the material and begin to think critically about it.

And all of that is well and fine until you're a mom. A mom with a lot of children of differing ages and personalities.

We've never been big on sticker charts or rewards or even allowance in this house. We try to move and cooperate as a unit rather singling out individual behavior problems or desired outcomes.

Example 1: If William is whining and crying at the dinner table we remove him from the table because he's ruining everyone else's dining experience. We don't reward him for not whining at the dinner table.

Example 2: If Lucy goes to the bathroom in the toilet instead of her diaper, the whole family cheers and whoops and hollers because she's starting to become a big girl. I don't give her a sticker or piece of candy every single time she goes. (I should say, however, that in the past there have been a few instances when I have given both her AND William a piece of chocolate when she goes because that helps foster family cooperation.)

I do remember starting a sticker chart for William shortly after Lucy was born. We were experiencing some behavior problems with him and as the mom of a sleepless newborn, I was desperate. We wrote down a list of good behaviors and each time he demonstrated one of these, he got to put a sticker on his chart. If he filled it up he got to go to a movie...or something like that. I can't remember. I can't remember because we never finished the chart. It sort of just fell through the cracks. William lost interest and so did I. And truthfully, his behavior got better simply because he moved past the phase of being a two-year-old with a new sibling.

I haven't touched a sticker chart since. Until now.

If you've been reading my blog in the past few months you know that we've been doing some bedroom switch-a-roos in preparation for the new baby. William moved out of his bedroom and is now sharing with Lucy in bunk beds. We started this at the beginning of August hoping that the novelty would wear off by summer's end and that bedtime would be smooth sailing just in time for the school routine. We were sorely mistaken.

After many 11 o'clock bedtimes I searched high and low for advice from other moms. But all this advice was off-mark because of one uniqueness in my children. No matter how sleepy they might be, they are chit-chatty Cathys to the Nth degree. They do not stop talking from the minute they are awake. Only people who have spent a few days with my kids truly get this.

We tried yelling. A lot. We tried punishment. We tried negative reinforcements. All of it lasted for about five minutes until one of them broke the silence again with a single word and the conversation and giggles started up all over again.

They only thing that seemed to work was allowing William to fall asleep in our bed and then carrying him into the bunk beds when we went to bed. And while that was great for the short time, both Brian and I knew it wasn't practical for the long-term.

When school started I got desperate and I reached in my arsenal for my last weapon. Bribery. Also known as a sticker chart.

William has been asking for quite some time about a particular action figure he wants to put on his birthday list. I almost never buy my kids toys or gifts for no reason so he's good about creating a wish list instead of asking for it right this minute. But this time I asked him if he would rather earn the action figure. He, of course, loved the idea.

So here's how I set it up. I told William that when it was time for bed he must go up to his bed and not talk to Lucy at all. If Lucy talked to him or got out of bed, he had to ignore her. The only reason he was allowed to get out of bed was if he had to go to the bathroom. We went over different scenarios again and again. If he had a good night he got to put a sticker on his chart. If he had a bad night we would put a red X on his chart. When he got ten stickers in a row, he could pick out an action figure that we would buy for him. The catch was that he had to get ten sticker in a row. So if he got five stickers and then an X, he had to start counting to ten all over again.

The first night was a success. Lucy kept talking and getting out of bed. But William remained silent. Each time we went upstairs to put Lucy back to bed we would praise William. This seemed to motivated him to stay quiet. William staying quiet eventually gave way to Lucy's boredom which eventually gave way to sleep. YES!

But I was convinced it was fluke. That William would surely lose interest eventually. But we are now on Day 7 and guess how many X's have been marked on that chart. Zero. Can you believe it? I can't!

And now, a week later, bedtime is a breeze. Without any reinforcements from William, Lucy doesn't even try to talk to him or get out of bed. She's totally over it.

But with all that success, I have to say, I'm not entirely convinced the sticker chart should get all the accolades. If I'm being honest I would say the chart has been more for Brian and I as a reminder to hand out praise where praise is due instead of just targeting the offending party. William eats up praise so whenever he gets it without asking, well, that's equal to ten thousand action figures.

When the sticker chart is complete, only time will tell if any of this really "worked." What are your experiences with rewards and charts? Do you love them? Hate them? Do they work long-term?