Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Nukie Fairy

We have a Nukie Fairy that comes to our house.

Does the Nukie Fairy come to your house?

I bet our Nukie Fairy is better than your Nukie Fairy.

Does your Nukie Fairy make your toddler go to bed at a decent time? Does your Nukie Fairy encourage your child to stay in bed and prevent him from getting up again and again and again? Does your Nukie Fairy possess the power to magically make your child listen to you and, hold on to your hats for this one, actually make your child follow through with the instructions you gave him?

Ours does.

It all started out so innocently.

William is completely attached to his nukie. It all started when he was in the NICU. The doctors wouldn't let me nurse him until his breathing reached acceptable levels. But he still had that newborn instinct to suck. So we gave him a nukie. He's been BFF with that thing ever since.

I have limits. He's only allowed to have it at nap, at bed or on a long car ride. But he's 2 years and 7 months and time is nearing where that thing is getting pretty, well, baby-ish.

The other night I was lying in bed with William. He was sucking on his nukie and snuggling with his blankie. I had recently finished reading an article that suggested using a Nukie Fairy to get rid of a child's dependence on a pacifier.

So I casually said, "William, pretty soon the Nukie Fairy is going to visit our house and she's going to take your nukie and give it to a baby."

He looked at me for a minute. He was astonished. Then he promptly burst into tears.

I quickly added, "But maybe she'll leave you a big boy surprise instead!"

No dice.

"I don't want a big boy 'prise, mommy! Why she take my nukie, mommy? 'Cause I naughty?"


Why yes, wise boy.

So all on his own, William developed the Nukie Fairy's purpose. And here I thought she was the good fairy of the North. Instead she appears to be this grouchy old lady who hates it when William gets out of bed. Or doesn't listen to his parents. And if she gets mad enough, she'll make a phone call and ask us to take away William's nukie. How horrifying!

I should just schedule the adult therapy sessions for him now.

Brian was not on board. He didn't like this idea of inventing a mythical creature to solve all our discipline problems.

I agreed with him. But still, the Nukie Fairy made my life so much easier.

A day later I walked into William's room just in time to hear Brian say, "William, if I were you I'd do what I say otherwise the Nukie Fairy..."

Then he saw me.


I just nodded my head.

Told ya so.


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