Wednesday, June 23, 2010

On Being Away

"I can't wait to just sit next to you on the plane."

That's what Brian and I told one another in preparation for our Chicago trip this weekend.  It was probably said in the heat of the moment.  At the dinner table when everyone was screaming for something.  Dessert.  More milk.  A bath.  Bed.  I want to tell you something.  I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING NOW.  Are you listening, mommy?  Mommy?  MOMMY?!

It's Wednesday afternoon and the kids are already gone.  They're living the dream life at Camp Grandma's for a long, long weekend.

I was slightly relieved when Lucy pooped just as I was getting her into her carseat for my brother to drive them away.

I brought her back in the house for a change and quiet one-on-one time.

"Mommy's going to miss you SO much," I said.

She looked at me with those quizzical eyes and babbled something back in Chinese or Japanese or Mandarin.  And my heart ached.  A lot.

It's the first time I've ever been away from her overnight since she was born.  Fourteen months of her and I waking up and going to bed just a stone's throw apart.

I'm not the kind of mother who looks for opportunities to get away.  I'm not the kind of person who needs a ton of alone time.  I like my family and I like when we are all together in one complete unit.

But when situations present themselves, such as a family wedding in downtown Chicago in which it would be near impossible to bring any of the kids, well, I see it as a little nudge.

Work on my marriage.  Have fun.  Sleep in.  Stay out late.  Maybe have a  glass of wine, or two, or four.

It's good to revive the part of me that used to be carefree and not thinking about the next meal or if it's getting close to naptime or if I have enough diapers to make it through the week.

Mornings will be hard.  Thinking of them with their sleep-kissed faces when they are most snuggable.  What did they dream about? What are they having for breakfast?  Are there smiles?  Are there tears?

And then there's the nights.  When I'll be alone with my thoughts, cuddled up against my love in the dark and thinking of my babies snuggled in their beds and sleeping soundly so far away.

Those will be the hard times.  But besides that I'll have plenty of distractions to keep me focused on my number one goal: To have fun.

And when I return, well, we all know that's the best part of any vacation.  Sleeping in your own bed.  Eating your own food.  Getting ready in your own bathroom.  And being refreshed.  So refreshed that I'll actually be excited to be a 24/7 mom again.

Signing out of Bloggyland for a bit.  See you when I return!

3 comments:

  1. Jenny - I'm totally jealous.

    There hasn't been a date night here since we brought Martin home on July 18, 2009... Unless of course, you count that time he & I walked around the grocery store together before we went to the hospital when Helen was born.

    Have a glass of wine for me. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So what are the odds that Kid 3 is born roughly 9 months after this weekend?

    Sorry, I couldn't help it... :)

    ReplyDelete

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