Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm Not A Photographer

I'm not a photographer.
But I do take pictures.
And when I take pictures I see things in them.
Things I don't usually see without a camera lens in front of my eye.
I see them the way they should be seen.
Perfectly created.
I can see the moment for what it is.
It reminds me they are still so little.
But growing so fast.
It reminds me to be gentle with their little souls.
But also to expect great things because they are capable.
I see them deep in conversation, building a lifelong friendship.
I see her legs, now proportional to her body.  No longer a toddler is she.
I see his blond locks returning.  Sun-bleached in the summer months only.
I see how he eats his fruit first while she prefers to eat her sandwich first. 
I see her chubby fingers trying to coordinate what her mind wants to do.
I notice how her toes curl when she's deep in concentration.
I notice her painted little toes.  Oh my goodness her painted little toes!
I notice how she doesn't notice me with the flashy camera because she's busy learning.
Her long, wispy hair.
The creases in her elbows.
Those cheeks.
I notice how excited she is to watch her big brother's graduation ceremony.
Her fingers fidgeting in anticipation of the next song.
She wonders if she'll know the words.
Her pigtails.  I remember the fight she put up while I combed and tied them that morning.
But once they're in, she loves them.  Preferring to see the world without distracting strands in her face.
She chose her squeak shoes that morning instead of her beloved Crocs because "they go better with my dress, Mommy." 
I see how playful he is with her.
Letting both his little sisters use him as a pincushion for their enjoyment.
He comes down to their level.
Because he knows they think it's funny if they can supposedly surprise him.
I see him trying to be genuinely surprised.  A good actor.
And I see her, so full of delight at getting her big brother good.
I'm reminded of how much he has a jump-with-both-feet-in attitude.
Fearless of the water.
Or much of anything.
Embracing every splash.
He is boy.  With every ounce of his being.

It's fun to take pictures.
To see things I didn't see before.
A nanosecond captured in time and immortalized forever.
I'm not a photographer.
I'm just a mom with a camera.

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