Monday, February 1, 2010

It's About Heart Appeal

Written by Brian about The Bachelor - Week 5

The girls and Jake have landed in San Francisco. The first one-on-one date is with Tenley. The date is pretty boring but there are some cool scenes in Chinatown. I think this is where Lionheart was filmed. Or was it Bloodsport? I’m not positive, but it’s incredible.

Almost as incredible as the turtleneck Jake is sporting. Jenny says he looks like Lloyd Christmas hanging out in Aspen. Where the women flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

Ali and Vienna – round 8 back at the hotel. I’m not sure why but these two are obsessed with each other. I think they need a one-on-one date or a therapy session or a make-out session. I don’t know.

The second date is almost awkward according to Jake. Jake, a winery/castle, a moat, Gandalf, and two women – it doesn’t get much more awkward than that.

Vienna bares all early in the dinner date. She really tries to hold it in but just can’t help turning on the faucets.

Jake puts Vienna in a circular room and tells her to stand in the corner so that he and Gia can hang out. Vienna racks her brain for a few hours but eventually starts wandering around randomly calling Jake’s name. At one point, she gets really scared because there is some guy with a camera following her around.

At the end of the night Vienna walks down to Jake’s room and sees him almost necked. That’s NECKED, not naked. Vienna is worried about their connection and steals extra one-on-one time.

Ali gets the final one-on-one date in SF. Best part of the date is the ceremonial ruining of the jeans where they both run into the bay with their shoes and pants on.

Jenny and I fast-forward through Jake’s one-on-one date with Chris Harrison. There might be good material here but it’s getting late.

In the end Jake sends home the one wholesome girl the show has to offer - Corey. Wow. Didn’t see that coming.

Hometowns are next. That is all.

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

1 comment:

  1. You’re right—Corey was the only one who didn’t see the ax coming. She should never have told Jake that she hailed from the state of Virgin(ia). He said it didn’t matter and that he respected her for it—as he gave her the boot. Aghh! He kept the skanky Daddy-Princess Vienna and ousted sweet little Corey. “Nice guys finish last,” old Jake keeps lamenting. More accurately, he should be saying, “Amazingly dumb guys finish last.” I watch the bachelor with the same morbid fascination I usually save for car wrecks.

    The one redeeming quality about the entire program is your day-after commentary!


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